Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Mostly Done.

I can say with some certainty that next weeks menus are at least 90% finished.

I still need to figure out a few incidentals, but for the most part everything is looking pretty good. Which is good, I am planning after all on leaving town, if nothing else just a few miles away. I have been cooped up for a while now, since about the time she left. Even having another which I am starting to care for deeply, the pain is still apparent and raw. I keep hoping things will get easier, that things will just one day be like they were before, with or without her. It doesn't really help that I am still stuck in this house, OUR house. When I dissect how I have always associated things, I always just felt like I was along for the ride in our relationship. It never really felt like I had much ownership, like I was really more than a participant. I wonder if that is how most people see things?

Is is possible to be entirely engrossed in our lives with someone else? It always felt like some important aspect was missing somehow, something that should have been there. I could just be looking at things in retrospect, and creating things that never really existed. My coping mechanism has some dust and grime clogging up the gears, it might take a while before things start purring and running smooth again.

The menu looks pretty good for next week nonetheless. I am looking forward to a couple of items in particular. There was some discussion of just using older stock recipes in order to ease some of the stress of the transition I am in now that I have taken over running of "my" little kitchen. I should have listened to them and just repeated some of the recipes we already had in the black binders overflowing in the office. The pigheaded oaf within me instead opted for coming up with all my own ideas, lets see how that goes.

I know I still have a ba-zillion things on my plate to deal with, but my first and foremost priority should be the food. If not I should get a job delivering pizzas or just drag my lazy ass back to school.

Although my over ambitious endevours might be an hinderance in my attempt to actually get some time off this weekend, c'est la vie non?

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