Constant state of flux

The more I think about this whole house selling/divorce thing the happier and more optimistic about the future I see thing.

For the first time in many years, I actually have the freedom to do whatever the hell I want. It wasn't the before my wife or the house we live in was in anyway keeping my from obtaining what I really wanted in life by any means. It is just the this whole life we had built up for ourselves took work to maintain. Work just to keep things as mediocre and boring as they had become. Now I am no longer shackled to this house, as it will be gone soon.

Why is that the end all that people look forward too so much in their lives, that marriage thing.

Overrated at best.

Is it that people just don't really feel at ease with themselves and seek out others in some futile attempt to complete themselves? That having that other special someone and starting down the road towards the American mundane dream somehow allow them to achieve what by themselves was never possible. All it does is make you complacent and allows your mind to settle, start to deactivate. Perhaps that was just me, I am sure there are perfectly happy couples out there, living through their relationship in ruby colored bliss.

Point being, is now I can do all those things I had always wanted to, I don't have to worry about what anyone thinks, tiptoeing around just not to set things off.

The house really is the last thing left linking us, and once that is gone I think it will feel like it really is over. The little matter about the divorce papers is still to be reckoned with, but to me that is little more than a legal formality. The tangebility of the house is quite a bit more "real" to me, the relationship, marriage and all it entailed was gone long ago. Now all that is left is the clean up.

I just hope I don't fall into my pattern of procrastination and spend the rest of my life doing nothing but sitting around waiting for thing to happen. I at this moment at least have nothing and no reason to complain about things, so I shall consider myself lucky.

Oh,

I think I fell in love 3 times this afternoon.
Once around 3 o'clock, cute girl with blond hair, brown hat, and beat up Doc Martens at the post office, we made I contact. Really though, it was 3 at a post office, the place was swamped, not what I would say the best place to ask someone out.

At the mall, (I was shopping, sue me) She gave me Free Espresso, how could I not love her. Ahh, espresso.

At the Sprint Store while buying my new phone, we traded faceplates and she managed to get/write down the restaurant where I work. Her name was Lara I think, I wonder if she will really come in and visit? Probably not, but I can live out my little fantasy anyway. I could have asked her out, but then I have to gauge, was she really just being nice because it was her job, or was there something else? Considering I am not desperate right now, I just opted for the first, counted my chips and left.

I guess I could add a fourth, Edina Girl came into the Cafe this morning, she was buying pastries for her co-workers, I was, well working what else. I caught her for a moment while she was talking to Tracy, I had almost forgotten how adorable she was. Sure we still talk now and again, but I don't think things were doomed from the start, I am not quite Christian enough for her and she is far too Christian for me. It was nice while it lasted, albeit fleeting.

Yeah freedom.

(Oh don't tell Edina girl I said she was a dorable, she really hates that)