Sunday, November 06, 2005
Up and Down.
Somedays things feel good, like all that is happening to me really is getting better. The whole divorce process isn't what anyone would describe as an easy one, and as things go I have the feeling I will look back upon this one with out the animosity many people do towards their experiences. Neither my ex and I are the type to hold much of a grudge, I am also sure that we wont end up living in the same city, so that will make things easier. I know that she isn't thinking about returning to the US anytime soon, and if she did, Minneapolis would be near the bottom of the list for permanent residence.
Shit she was the only reason I was staying here, not even her so much as the life we had built up together. Stopping the momentum of something so established isn't something that is done lightly, and I wasn't the one to put things in motion to do so. I still even now am stuck here, unable to leave still having to support the "house" even though now it is just myself living here. Things are for the best now, I never realized how much I actually enjoy being single. Not just because I am free to date whom ever will have me, although that part is nice. Just because it frees me up to be the person that I always have known myself to be. All the "roles" that we played over the years, we just fell into them, without really giving it much thought. I look around now and see couples in a quite different light, I see how people become complacent with their lives and pretty much lose all ambition. I don't mean to sound bitter, but it is a little sad, many "happy" couples just seem to be wasting away. I have a feeling that is the recently separated portion of myself noticing these things, and as soon as I find someone I care like that, I probably will start to see things differently.
The point is that right now things are good.
Right now is a good day, hell a good week.
I think I have finally crested above a certain point, a point I hope regression doesn't once again affect me. I don't like it when my relationship actually starts to affect the rest of my life, both personally and professionally. And right now all that is affecting me is myself, I don't feel influenced by what is going on anymore. Given the alternative I prefer days like today, even if things are less than perfect.
Caveat: 40 Year Old Virgin was good, although not great. Frankly I was expecting a little more, but then again I don't really complain when I see a film at the Riverview, how can you when ticket prices are so damn cheap.
Shit she was the only reason I was staying here, not even her so much as the life we had built up together. Stopping the momentum of something so established isn't something that is done lightly, and I wasn't the one to put things in motion to do so. I still even now am stuck here, unable to leave still having to support the "house" even though now it is just myself living here. Things are for the best now, I never realized how much I actually enjoy being single. Not just because I am free to date whom ever will have me, although that part is nice. Just because it frees me up to be the person that I always have known myself to be. All the "roles" that we played over the years, we just fell into them, without really giving it much thought. I look around now and see couples in a quite different light, I see how people become complacent with their lives and pretty much lose all ambition. I don't mean to sound bitter, but it is a little sad, many "happy" couples just seem to be wasting away. I have a feeling that is the recently separated portion of myself noticing these things, and as soon as I find someone I care like that, I probably will start to see things differently.
The point is that right now things are good.
Right now is a good day, hell a good week.
I think I have finally crested above a certain point, a point I hope regression doesn't once again affect me. I don't like it when my relationship actually starts to affect the rest of my life, both personally and professionally. And right now all that is affecting me is myself, I don't feel influenced by what is going on anymore. Given the alternative I prefer days like today, even if things are less than perfect.
Caveat: 40 Year Old Virgin was good, although not great. Frankly I was expecting a little more, but then again I don't really complain when I see a film at the Riverview, how can you when ticket prices are so damn cheap.
# posted by Felipe : 10:09 PM
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